Obsessive Compulsiveness

You say, I care

but she say, you obsessed

quite frugal as it seems but sure to drill a hole

oblivious of the situation you were bound to be

never wanted to be prepared for the worst

when it slips, you just let it go

 

Dive in she said with a smile

With freedom beneath both our hands

one starts to shiver

Parkinson’s cant be cured by holding tight

stopping the movements

have to let go for a realistic cure

 

Although walls broken into pieces

she withdrew from stepping over

seeing the next ahead after

Once I feared the same

that she fears now

but too late for me to handle

 

She felt trapped I think

and million such thoughts

invade over my mind

I knew they were myths for sure

Went on proving things

that pointed the finger at me

 

Its was her problem from the start

soon after another put light on it,

is as psychological as it seems like

but nothing done to revamp

decided for both without asking

and left with no fears

 

Caring compulsively till comfortable

and attachment mistaken for obsession

trying  all ways to bring out maturity

and modify her thinking and decision

everything proved to be futile

to make her understand its not better for both

 

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Journey with no regrets

You will have to imagine the whole thing now.

A metaphor.

Sailing peacefully with the waves, floating with all others and a mermaid when seen can be a ticket to your journey.

You look at her, she looks at you and makes you feel you are not alone when you are actually not.

She asks you to come with her deep down the vast ocean listening to the ever lasting beauty of the deep and promising to never let you go. This sounds tempting but against human sayings you should take this tempting thing if you are serious about the journey.

The journey starts

Bonds strengthen and it makes you feel so good you don’t even care how far you have reached and trust becomes so strongly tied between the both that it seems it can never be broken.

But

As soon as you are near to the dead bottom you realise you are alone, stranded in the dark silence. The unbreakable knots broken into pieces, the mystery of how, that everyone questions. Blames yourself for faults in knots even when there wasn’t any.

Drops of tears in between water makes no difference. You run short of breath before realising what happened and try had to swim upto the surface. Too deep makes it too high to reach but you try hard. This journey that everyone fears seems everlasting but in reality the ocean cant be infinitely deep. This limit gives you hopes. The journey back down saw no attention to other things except her but the journey back up saw all the things that you missed in life above the surface.

You try hard really hard, for some if takes weeks but others take months. You start inhaling your own air giving yourself more room for getting out. Those moments well spent going down look back at you every time you look down to see how high you were.

You feel the sunshine now and the light comforts you. Light so bright that it blinds those old tapes.

Now you are free, you cork up to the surface and that moment gives you immense pleasure more than her. That feeling makes you feel so supreme that you take over the sail of your life confidently. That air gives you so much power that you can overcome any obstruction in the future. Most importantly it makes you care about things you never did, those minute things that build up your life.

Journey ends but it doesn’t for maturity

You treat her the same way you used to and who knows what made her untie the knots. Having hopes of getting back down doesn’t make you not over it but regretting does.

Journey ends for some but not yet

If you get a chance to dive in back with other, you should because you will be more aware of the things around you, more experienced at estimating depths and more breath inhaled but if the same wants to take you back, its better than ever. Wait for it, you never know if she does.

Journey ends for all.

 

 

 

 

The not so Powerful Power of a Sentence

Remember when you said a thing that is completely shitty that came out of a confusion. After complete understanding of the matter…you disagree with your words and assume yourself as a jerk.

The same happened to me twice.

I was participating in an informal debate with my friends (informal in the sense disagreeing what your opponent said and referring to him as an asshole after his every argument) whether biology or mathematics is important both for survival and in daily life. I was completely confused and uttered the most ugly, foolish and stupidest thing ever said by mankind that OUR FINGERS WOULD NOT BE FINGERS IF WE DIDNT HAVE BIOLOGY……I know this is shit because it is. I should have thought twice or thrice before saying these words.This sentence ….yea this changed my last two years in school.

Every time I said something ….even be it serious matters …..my friends would drop a bomb that has these words written on it. If I met someone new, they would spoil it by exposing my views and that girl(preferably) would just walk away thinking me as a jerk. There’s no room for me now in debates as they find my views shitty. Ironically, they want to hear more from me so that the could make fun of me. In a tedx event in our school, a jerk exposed my jerkness to a comedian who found it extremely funny and would use it in his show…how great is that.

There is this guy, Slim Shetty …finds my views shitty(everyone does) and he hopes that he would hear more from me so that he could analyse my words, fall deep and relate to real life situations (obviously to make fun of me). So ….fuck you.

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This thing has destroyed my image but has never been able to pierce long enough to imbalance my emotions. I DONT CARE WHAT THEY THINK OF ME. If I were any other normal teenager I am damn sure he would brood upon it and would be near to a nervous breakdown ….humiliation would pierece him like a needle into a cake and destroy his school years ahead. Yea…I am trying to say that I am not like any normal teen and have learnt a bit early to control my emotions and give importance to the things that matter.

The thing I am trying to say is that a sentence even though how powerful it may be, cant pierce you if you didn’t allow it to. Simple as it sounds like. This might help to control your emotions, just say it loud when you feel humiliated….zero fucks given.

My friends right there think I cry everyday(they specify… sitting in a the CORNER, weeping) even though they know the truth(they do this because they don’t have any other work to do and want to pass their time).

If anyone out there is facing a similar problem laugh as hard as you can with them when they humiliate you. Dont ever ,ever start explaining them how stupid you were.

Hence the not so powerful power of a sentence is like a battery, when on full charge affects hard, that gradually becomes weak and ultimately dead. This Duracell can be converted into a Shakti by you and you only if you know what I mean.

 

 

 

My Theory Of GOD

God isn’t a bearded man or an other human like creature in the sky pointing out things. The force that most of the people believe as god is just nature. People couldn’t believe nature to have such enormous power so they created an imaginary person called god on whom they could depend and have faith on.

For example…….The so called LORD SHIVA(in India)whom we pray and have built temples for him in order to worship is actually just a creative mind’s creation. Nowadays, showing our faith and devotion is becoming more important than believing in god. God divides people rather than to bring them together. And the only advantage that I found in believing god is that it provokes a person to think twice before doing a wrong thing.

I am an atheist. I believe in the eternal power of nature. This has not at all affected my daily life. Although some people tend to oppose my views when I try to make them understand.

Our brain is the most destructive weapon on earth. It can create or destroy anything from nuclear missiles to the most stupidest beliefs like bad luck on being crossed by a black cat(i mean come on people! its just an animal). So…here comes the point…..OUR BRAIN WOULDN’T BE A BRAIN….IF WE DIDN’T HAVE BRAINS (my creation). Similarly, God wouldn’t be god if we didn’t have brains like these. Try to undersatnd the beauty of this creation….i am pretty damn sure every single person can create or can mould out a unique face or structure to the GOD if asked to do so.